Because sometimes you just need a vehicle to consume Five Spice, amirite?

Also, mushrooms are delicious.  I don’t know when I started feeling this way–it’s been within the last several years–but it’s happened and I’m embracing it.

A little too much, maybe.  I definitely gathered far too many ingredients to fit comfortably in the pan.  This happens a lot.  I should get bigger pans.

Ingredients:

I package lo mein noodles

1 shot* peanut oil

1 shot hot chili sesame oil, divided

1 block extra firm tofu, diced

1 pound or so of mushrooms–I used a mix of oyster, shiitake, and white buttons–sliced

1 yellow onion, sliced in half pole to pole and then sliced thin

4 cloves garlic, minced

1 package lo mein noodles

3 carrots, julienned

1 zucchini, sliced

4 green onions, sliced

1 shot vermouth (I would have used sake, if I’d had any)

2 shots tamari

1/4 tsp. powdered ginger

3/4 tsp. Chinese five spice

salt

Heat the peanut oil and half of the hot chili oil in your biggest still-not-big-enough pan or a wok if you’ve got one over medium plus (that is, just a bit more than medium, but not so far as I’d call it “medium-high”).  Cook the tofu for a couple minutes. Add the yellow onion and mushrooms.

Meanwhile, cook your noodles per the package instructions.  When they’re done, rinse in cold water and toss in the remaining hot chili sesame oil.

After the mushrooms are softened, add the garlic.  After a minute, add the ginger and five spice.

Add the zucchini and carrots and cook, stirring, for a couple minutes.

Add the green onions, tamari, and sake/vermouth.  Turn up the heat a smidge and cook until most of the liquid has evaporated. If you’re like me, your pan is way too full to even think about getting the noodles in there.  Maybe remove some of the veggies with a slotted spoon?  Toss the noodles with the rest of the stuff as best you can.

*like, in a shot glass.

Ohmigod. These are the best zucchini pizzas I’ve ever made. Note: I’ve never made zucchini pizzas before. But I did make a quick trip to Fred Meyer the other day on the way home from boot camp, to get cat treats and an eyeglass repair kit. Then I wondered whether they had vegan pepperoni, which we’d failed to get at Haggen the day before (they did not). Then for some reason I wandered past the olive bar, from which I’d never bought anything. Then the girl behind it said I could sample whatever I wanted. I was real hungry. Dot dot dot tonight we made zucchini pizzas topped with roasted ‪‎garlic‬, roasted tomatoes, artichoke hearts, ‪‎peppadews‬, olives and feta (me anyway), and some vegan bacon. And ‪‎cheese‬, real (three kinds!) or otherwise. Maybe this was a dish invented to con kids into eating vegetables; maybe it’s some low-carb fake-gluten-allergy thing. I DON’T CARE. CUZ IT’S DELICIOUS.

My husband ate all of his; I had a couple leftover.  So we’ll say this makes two and a half meals?

7 smallish zucchinis (1-1 1/2 inch diameter)

~1/2 cup pizza sauce

olive oil

salt & pepper

miscellaneous toppings, chopped fairly small

cheese (I used mozzarella, parmesan, and feta; hubs used Daiya mozza)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

Cut the ends off the zucchinis and cut lengthwise.  Brush with olive oil, then sprinkle with salt and pepper.  Smear with sauce, not quite reaching the edges.  Add toppings and cheese, mounding a little in the middle.  We’re all basically familiar with how pizza works, right?

Bake for 12-17 minutes.

After about 16 minutes, I turned on the broiler for a minute, just to finish off the cheese.

Definitely will be making these again.  And not just because I have a lot of impulse olive bar buys left over.